0 Blogging About Autism: 2019

Tuesday, 22 October 2019

Autism Meltdowns in Adults

This blog post is aimed at helping people who do not have autism to understand what autism meltdowns feel like from the perspective of an autistic person.

When children with autism have meltdowns many people just assume they are spoilt or naughty. This is far from the truth and it is not fair to judge them or their parents based on behaviours that are a direct consequence of living with a disability.  There are so many misconceptions around autism and meltdowns it is discouraging to live in a world that can often show so little understanding.

Monday, 21 October 2019

Inflexible Thoughts and Social Anxiety

Going Out Alone

Today is one of the rare times that I have gone out without my fiance by my side. I was going to meet my future mother in law to go and pick up my wedding dress and the dresses for my bridesmaids for alterations. I recall much anxiety before leaving and that same level of anxiety is present every single day of my life.

Tuesday, 15 October 2019

Why Early Autism Diagnosis is Essential

Looking back on my traumatic past is hard and this page on my blog only focuses on one part of the many traumas I have faced. It is easier to write this if I do it from a detached state and so that is why it is written from a third person angle. 

She looks at the little red-headed girl in the photo that her granda kept up until the day that he died. She keeps it to try and piece back together pieces of herself that have been shattered by a world that has always wanted to change her. In that picture, she has wavy hair and big expressive bluish/green eyes. At that point in her life, she had no self-esteem and she was struggling with 8 or 9 different disabilities that she didn't even know she had. When she walked into school it felt like she was walking into a battlefield. Each morning she awoke with that same dread and wonder as to what was in store for her today. Stares, glares, name-calling or something else perhaps? Maybe it would just be the soul-destroying feeling of going about her days not being able to play with other children or even relate to them. She wanted so badly to join in and would stare as others happily played with dolls and had conversations with each other.

Friday, 11 October 2019

Do Autistic People Get Suicidal Thoughts?

I Often Feel Like I Don’t Want to Be Here
I have chosen to answer this because I am moved to by the number of times I find myself saying “I don’t want to be here.” I am not suicidal writing this but I am very sad and the sadness never seems to lessen or go away for long. I am not sad about my life with my fiance because I love him to bits and I am so lucky to have found someone who truly understands me. His family are also in that special and very sparsely populated group of people who take the time to understand someone like me who has a different brain. I will discuss why I often feel this way and I hope that it answers this question in a way that might make people think about how they treat others. I write in hopes of bringing about positive change for others and myself.

Wednesday, 9 October 2019

Autism, Witches, Banshees, Friendlessness and Other Spooky Things

Why I Can Relate to Witches  

Since it is October and because I love Halloween, I have decided to write a Halloween themed article and witches are my chosen topic. I have always wanted to visit Salem in America so it is on my bucket list.  I often feel quite like I can relate to witches and I have read a lot about them and how they suffered years before now. I wonder if they actually were practising witchcraft or if they were just the unfortunate people who could not quite fit into society and were punished for that.

The Monster of Rumination

The Monster of Rumination  

Going with a Halloween theme for October I will talk about the monster that is rumination.

Wednesday, 2 October 2019

Multi Tasking, Sequencing, Transitioning and Other things

Multi-Tasking , Transitioning, Sequencing  and Other Things

Amongst the many weird and annoying ways autism digs its claws into my life is that my brain seems unable to mult-task very well or sometimes even at all. I find this rather infuriating and want to discuss the many ways in which it happens in further detail. I am a one thing at a time kind of person in many parts of my life but this is due to necessity. I have to choose one or the other. Even in regards to the things I really wish I didn’t have to choose between because my disability limits me. Autism effects some people differently than others but my variation of the bag of symptoms that are directly caused by it is pretty disabling. Each little thing I do takes more focus than it should and it is mentally exhausting to go through life like this.

Monday, 30 September 2019

Autism Thought Patterns & Compulsions

Types of Thoughts

Looping thoughts or Rumination
Looping thoughts are the same thought circling in my head over and over again with no relief from it at their worst these have made me not want to be here. I Sometimes pray to god to make them stop and yet I don’t even know if he exists but they send me into despair.

Saturday, 28 September 2019

How to Date With Autism

I had a suggestion from a reader of one of my answers on Quora to cover this topic and I am thankful they gave me that idea. I feel like I might be able to help give some insights into keeping safe whilst dating as an aspie and how to prepare yourself emotionally for it too. I am not speaking on behalf of anyone with autism except myself. I do believe much of this information could be valuable to them though and perhaps it could even be valuable to NTS too. I will discuss in detail what worked for me and against me and sadly autism goes against a lot of us. I had many experiences but don’t base your potential experiences of mine because you might be lucky enough to find that you meet lots of the nice NTs. My situation in life meant my only way to meet people was online and I was very isolated. If you are autistic you might have to do a lot of changing not to suit the NT but to suit yourself after years of trying to suit the NTs. My article covers dating from the perspective of an autistic woman but I think some men with autism could find it helpful too.

Tuesday, 24 September 2019

Aspergers and Pressure to Get A's

Encouragement vs Pressure

Hello I think that it is normal for loving parents to want the best for their child and for their future. I think that some parents get lost in their ability to realize when their expectations are becoming unfair or unrealistic. From what I have read Asperger's means you either have average or above average intelligence and regardless to which of those categories you fall under. It is unreasonable and insensitive for someone to demand you get A results.

I also read that aspies don’t have learning disabilities but they do have learning difficulties. When someone has impairments of any kind often, they are fighting their hardest to be just like everyone else. A child should grow up knowing that their best is truly enough and that no matter what they are loved regardless. I am going to discuss below why the assumption that you should get A’s because you have Asperger's is pretty ridiculous. All opinions written here are just my own and I do not mean to offend anyone.

Sunday, 22 September 2019

How Autism Feels on the Inside

I will try my best to give an idea of how Autism feels on the inside and it is based only on my own experience of it because it is a very difficult thing to describe and everyone who has it is affected differently.

As an adult with autism or Asperger's, how do you stay safe and make sure no one manipulates and takes advantage of you?

My answer to someone who wants to know how to stay safe with autism.
I honestly wish I could give you an amazing answer that aspies could read and even print off to make use of to always be safe. My answer is drawn from numerous bad experiences with abusive people and sexual predators. I wake up each day wishing I I could forget the painful and haunting memories of the past. This is just my opinion and I don’t speak for every autistic person or anything (we already have enough people doing that without our permission.) but I feel that staying safe is near to impossible for many of us and I am about to explain why that has been the case for me.

Things You Should Never Say to a Person With Autism

Hurtful and Invalidating Comments

Things you should never say to an Autistic person are any of the general invalidating things that people tend to say on a daily basis. Things like “you don’t give off any hints of being autistic,” Or “you don’t look autistic,” it shouldn’t really need explaining why these comments are distressing but as an Autistic woman who was not diagnosed until I was 26 years of age. I have become quite good at masking my struggles and blending in. When I didn’t, I suffered abuse, bullying and violence. It is not a compliment to say “you don’t look Autistic” to someone who has had to change everything about themselves and act more normal for survival. You might have the best of intentions and truly believe you are complimenting someone by saying it or perhaps even encouraging them but for me, it is an insult and many other Autistic people feel the same way.

What kind of partner should a person with autism seek, a fellow Aspie or the complete opposite?

I am excited to answer this because I have so many thoughts on the topic and advice based on my own horrible and sometimes heartbreaking experiences trying to interact with NTs and I do hope I can add some valuable insights. I do not speak on behalf of every autistic person because we are all unique and I do want to make that very clear in all of my posts. I am going to give you a fuller picture of why it might be difficult for an autistic person to communicate with a NT and vice versa because communication problems and a lack of patience on their part are the reason why I lost a lot of NT people who I actually cared about.

Friday, 20 September 2019

The Penguins with Differently Coloured Shoes

This was a response to someone on Quora who was feeling down about being autistic and having no friends and thinking his family don’t care about him. 

Imagine You Were a Penguin

Imagine you were a penguin with yellow shoes (an odd analogy I know but stick with me) and you loved your yellow shoes but everyone else was wearing pink shoes. Your yellow shoes are part of what makes you who you are and the pink shoe wearers were to ask you to paint them pink instead. Would you? I would and that is part of why I end up feeling how you are feeling now. The pink shoes wearers can move between pink, yellow, green basically any colour from the vast array of colours that exist in this world.

They can chop and change and still be happy with their shoes but for us, we can’t change our shoes and we can’t simply take them off. All we can do is paint them pink but they will still be yellow underneath and as soon as we get home, we are going to want to breathe a massive sigh of relief and paint them yellow again. It would get annoying to have to paint your shoes every day and it would be exhausting to have to keep changing them to pink and then yellow and then back to pink again.

Monday, 16 September 2019

Life After Escape and Pregnancy

Withdrawing from the World 

After escaping I withdrew from the world and became much like The Grinch for a while. In terms of locking myself away and being depressed and full of self-loathing. I was blaming myself for everything and all the times when people would get angry at me and I wouldn’t even know what I had done wrong. I didn’t know I had autism at that point in my life but I knew something was horribly wrong. I wasn’t coping with living alone because I was never taught how to do a single thing for myself and I couldn't have learned it because my dad insisted on doing those things.

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

Childhood Abuse and Those Who Cover It Up


I want this blog to address the overwhelming and life-altering impact of childhood abuse and I also want to discuss the impact of being asked or (in my case) forced to carry the burden of someone else's wrongdoing. I want to ask quite simply why? Why do those who abuse survivors gather the courage to confide in and those who are supposed to care for and protect them fail to do so?